a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops