Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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an object in motion continues to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force :)

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Yo mamma's so stupid she failed the SAT.

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Dwarf Shortage

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops