What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

Knock Knock The guy opens the door

a dog walks into a bar....it sees the horse and starts barking which ever dentally startles and confuses the horse resulting in tables and chairs being knocked over .

what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

12/23/2012

why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

What is a black man's favorite food? It differs from person to person.

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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