Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Why? Why not?

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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