What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

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What's 9+10? 19

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Cheese

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops