I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops