What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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