What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

*knock knock* i have diarrhea

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

Yellow People !!

A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

what do you call a black drug dealer? A pharmacist.

Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

What's worse than this That :(

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

Im taking a shit right now.

your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

why'd the Chinese kid die how the hell should i now

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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