- Anti Joke

Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

Knock knock, COME IN!

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.