What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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I am a mime

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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A man walks into a bar. Ow

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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