What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

There's a cat, a dog, a rat and a goat... I don't know how the goat got in there?

what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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