Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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bangers and mash?

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops