I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock. There was no answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Pain Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops