What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

David Cameron

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

snowglobe

Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

What's worse than sitting through a boring class? Sitting on a bus that a terrorist is about to blow up.

knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

Nazi jokes are not funny. ANNE FRANKly they're mean! See What i did there?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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