what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

. . I am a whale

A penis walks into a bar..

It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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