It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

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Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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