So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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