What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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dat shoe shine tho

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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What does? 42

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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