What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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A man did not like this site

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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