How do you stop a plane? Land it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

if you are reading this your wasting your time

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

star wars kid

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +23

One time i was sitting down

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops