Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on an island. This island is called England, and this situation tends to happen a lot.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

A midget walked under a bar.

The adventures of Helen Keller:

knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

Actually, Red Bull helps temporarily restore wakefulness when experiencing fatique or drowsiness.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...