what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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No antijoke here.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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