A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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