Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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