knock knock who's there? your destiny

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Who is yellow and cant drive straight. A man dying of lukemia

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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