what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -30

flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops