Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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All of these jokes are about white people

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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sky silverstein

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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