How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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