How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops