why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

thumb_up thumb_down

there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

thumb_up thumb_down

What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down

What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

thumb_up thumb_down -2

9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Cameron is a r e t a r d

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

thumb_up thumb_down -2

AND

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops