Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When making an Anti-Joke, you click the button that says: 'I have read and agree to the terms of service' What are you called? A Liar.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Blacks

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

quantum physics?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops