What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

Q. Why do some people not like anti-jokes? A. They don't find the humor funny.

What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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