How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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womens rights

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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