What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

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The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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