Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops