where do you hide a black mans paycheck? somewhere he would never find it

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

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Why were people laughing when Muhammad Ali signed autographs for his fans? He was making jokes regarding his Parkinson's syndrome in order to elevate an otherwise melancholy experience for the audience.

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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Roses are red Grass is green Get in the van If you know what I mean

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

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Knock knock Who's there Bill Bill who? Bill Thompson

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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