Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I SAID I WANT A GLASS OF JUICE. NOT I WANT TO GAS THE JEWS!-hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

thumb_up thumb_down -33

whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

thumb_up thumb_down -33

DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A whole 'nother.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops