Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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Alchohol.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops