Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

What are annoying? Ads.

when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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