Committing Suicide #YOLO

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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