Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

What do fat people and shinease people have in common? They both have a lot of chins.

What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

"Knock knock" Come in!

How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

Why did the boy throw butter out the window? To test the principles of gravity.

why did the family have dinner? they were hungry and it was 6:00

Your momma so fat when she went to the beach she was to self concious and left her shirt on.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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