Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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