What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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