What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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kieran is a homosexual

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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