What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

What did the man with no head say to the women?

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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