A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

HELLO EVERYONE

What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

What is better than tissues? Correct!

Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

What is the best thing the French ever invent The two piece

How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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