What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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