Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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