Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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