How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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No it doesnt..

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Obama = ebola

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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knock,knock you suck

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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