Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

Justin Bieber.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

This is not funny.

So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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