Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Here come the elephants over the hill!

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all these jokes are horrible now

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops