How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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