What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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