What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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A man walked into a bar owch

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Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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Caroline Kelly.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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