A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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