A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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Whats worse than a man who has had a hard day at work, he goes to a bar and gets drunk, he goes home and beats his wife? I his wife was fat and had cancer

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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I asked her where you were.

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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How do you starve a Somalian? Too late.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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